LEOTLE Part1, aka EOTL 20: August 18 2011: An American Werewolf in Chesham

[David Scott]

Pictures

Biggs and I have known from the offset that the Last EOTL Ever (LEOTLE) would be focussed around Chesham and Amersham. Sitting as they do on the outer edge of the Metropolitan line either of these two towns might reasonably be regarded as an ultimate underground destination.  LEOTLE would involve both of them of course but as it approached we pondered which should be the Final EOTL Destination Ever (FEOTLDE). Sitting as it does on the left hand side of the map and sticking out a bit more you might take Amersham to be the end of the Metropolitan line. Wikipedia however throws some doubt on this. Its Amersham page claims that “Amersham is the last station on the Metropolitan main line”, however its Chesham page claims that Chesham is “the furthest location served from central London, in terms of both distance and travelling time”. We finally agreed to take Amersham as our FEOTLDE on the basis that Wikipedia has it as the end of the line, even if this ignores its own evidence.

On Thursday I headed for Chesham mid-afternoon and was pleased to see that our decision appeared to be vindicated. Amersham’s incredible, bendy-buss like fast train sped me to Chalfont & Latimer where I had to wait half an hour for a Chesham train that looked like Stephenson might have had a hand in its design. LU at least appear to view Amersham as the end of the line.

At Chesham, with a couple of hours before Biggs arrived, I set off down the High Street. One thing about Chesham’s High St: it has a quite incredible number of hairdressers and barbers. At its far end is the biggest barber shop I’ve ever seen. The other thing that struck me about Chesham was that it was a bit quiet. This worried me as my research had shown that Chesham has a significant history in the fields of crime and horror. Inspector Morse has investigated “The Day of the Devil” on the High St and four particularly grizzly Midsummer Murders have taken place there. Hammer House of Horror was based in Chesham on at least two occasions. I had a growing sense of dread but I also had some time on my hands. I decided to take a look at a Chesham House of Horror.

In the early 80s Hammer constructed a pet shop at number 68 Broad St. for a dark tale called “The Silent Scream”. In this Peter Cushing plays an ex-Nazi nutjob who entraps wild beasts in the cellar of his pet shop. He is quite successful in this and decides to step things up by entrapping Brian Cox, his wife and a small dog in the cellar too. Ultimately they escape and Peter is himself entrapped in the cellar by a panther. As I peered across at the Chesham House of Horror it was easy to imagine the scream of wild beasts. The pet shop is now a halal butchers . Almost inevitably it has a barbers next door to it.

Drizzle had turned into downpour as I left the house of horror behind. Biggs and I had agreed to meet at The Queen’s Head in villagey Old Chesham. I arrived rain-drenched and pushed a heavy oak door open. All conversation stopped. I was reminded of a scene from “An American Werewolf in London” where on the way to becoming a dog’s dinner two young Americans stop the chat dead in an old pub on the moors. I shuffled to the bar and ordered a bitter then waited quietly for Biggs. An hour later he arrived explaining that his journey had been problematic. I explained that I was now quite keen to move on. Biggs insisted however that, this being the LEOTLE he had an obligation to fulfil some pageantry as well as to quaff some beers. We retired to the beer garden where he constructed two EOTL flags. An hour or so later we left the pub and Biggs ceremonially planted the first of them at the end of the High Street.  

The ceremony was moving but my overriding feeling was still one of unease and dread. Given that we were behind schedule Biggs agreed to jump into a taxi for Amersham. As we walked past a cottage on the old Church St a low growling came from beside us. Wild beasts leapt snarling from nowhere!

I ran for the taxi rank. Biggs caught me up after a bit. “Amersham! Get your foot down man!” we instructed the driver…

[Eleanor Dowling]

Loving the flags!  I'm not sure about the acceptability of a taxi ride to Amersham, whatever the weather and wild beat situation...